Scrubs and Snuggles

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re doing okay today. This post is a little different, part reflection, part rant, but all honest.

Recently, I applied for two Band 7 Clinical Nurse Specialist roles. I was thrilled to be shortlisted for both and offered interview slots. It felt like things were moving in the right direction, career growth, a senior role, everything I’ve been working towards.

But then came the catch.

Both roles were advertised as full-time; 37.5 hours a week. I currently work 34 hours. That’s just 3.5 hours short of full-time. Reasonable, right? Especially for someone who’s proven, experienced, and ready to step into a leadership role.

But during informal chats, I learned that the Band 8 (matron-level) nurse was very firm: they wanted someone full-time. No exceptions.

The irony? She’s about to go on maternity leave. You’d think that might bring a little empathy, at least some understanding of the balance working mums are trying to achieve. But no. Flexibility wasn’t on the table.

To make it even more confusing, one of the Band 7s I spoke to casually mentioned she works 35 hours. I couldn’t help but think, so you’re also part-time? Then why isn’t my 34 hours acceptable?

In the end, I had to withdraw my applications. Not because I wasn’t capable. Not because I didn’t have a strong chance as I genuinely believe I would have aced the interviews. But because of 3.5 hours. That’s all. Just 3.5 hours.

And honestly, that decision broke my heart a little.

I am ambitious. I’m focused, purpose-driven, and committed to career progression. But I’m also a mum to a toddler. A toddler who used to attend nursery five days a week. A while ago, I made the decision to compress my hours into four longer days so I could have Mondays off to spend with him.

It’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made.

That extra day, just one day has made a huge difference to our bond, my well-being, and my ability to be present. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, not even a more senior role that I really, really want.

This experience has made me reflect deeply on how the world sees ambitious mothers.

We’re told to dream big. To pursue excellence. To show up. But when we do, and we ask for just a little flexibility, the system pushes back.

Why does it feel like we’re being forced to choose?

Do you want to be a high-achieving professional, or do you want to be a present, engaged mum? Because apparently, you can’t be both.

And that’s what hurts the most.

Since withdrawing from both applications, I’ve felt low. I can’t lie. I was shortlisted on merit. I’m confident I would have done well in the interview. But I had to walk away because I chose my child.

And I would do it again.

But I don’t want to look back in 10 or 15 years after my son is grown and off to university and feel like I sacrificed every professional dream to be a mum. I want to believe that it’s possible to hold both roles with grace: a great nurse leader and a great mum.

So, I’m opening this up to you.

If you’re a mum who’s ambitious and purpose-driven, but also deeply committed to being present for your children, how are you managing it all?

Are you struggling like me?

I don’t have the answers yet. But I’m trying to figure it out. And if you are too, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share your story in the comments or send me a message. Let’s talk about this openly.

We deserve the space to thrive in both our purpose and our parenting.

With love,

Ope xx