Scrubs and Snuggles

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about ambition, what it means to be an ambitious woman, especially one who’s also a wife, a mum, and someone just trying to make sense of it all.

I am, by nature, a very driven person. I’ve always wanted more for myself. Not in a greedy way, but in the “I know I was made for something bigger” kind of way. I have big dreams and the determination to match but let me tell you, sometimes that drive feels like a heavy weight. One I carry every single day.

Right now, I’m in the middle of a lot.

I’m working as a Band 6 research nurse (I do 34.5 hours a week , just shy of full-time). I’m applying for Band 7 jobs. I’m writing an academic paper I hope to publish. I’m preparing a PhD proposal. I run a YouTube channel (badly! I’m not always consistent but you should consider subscribing as I share a lot of insight on navigating nursing and career progression as a nurse in the UK). I have this blog (again, not as consistent as I’d like to be). I’m also planning to write a full book to build on my latest ebook, 21 Non-Bedside Traditional Jobs for Nurses (kindly grab a copy of the ebook, you won’t regret it).

And of course, I’m a wife. I’m a mum to a beautiful, active toddler. And I live with Stage 4 Endometriosis and all the not-so-lovely symptoms that come with that.

It’s a lot.

There are days I wake up tired. Days I go to bed with 10 tabs open in my brain, none of them finished. I carry the mental load, the emotional load, and the ambition load. Some days I feel like Superwoman. Other days, I feel like I’m barely holding it all together with a hair tie and leftover toast crusts.

But what’s been weighing heavily on my heart lately isn’t just the exhaustion, it’s the guilt.

Guilt for wanting more.

Guilt for dreaming big when I already have so much on my plate.

Guilt for not being “present enough.”

Guilt for not being as consistent as I “should” be.

And I keep asking myself these questions:

Is it possible to be too ambitious? Where’s the line between healthy striving and burnout? Why do we, as mums, especially mums of young children, carry so much guilt when we want more for ourselves? Is there an invisible limit to how far we’re allowed to dream while we’re also raising little ones?

Sometimes I wonder if what I’m feeling is just part of my personality, or maybe it’s undiagnosed ADHD (which I’ve honestly considered), or maybe just maybe it’s exactly how God created me. I’m a Christian, and I believe that God doesn’t make mistakes. He gives us our wiring for a reason. So maybe this constant pull toward purpose, growth, and impact is divine. But that doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.

Some days, I envy women who seem content. Who can go to work, come home, rest, and feel satisfied. Meanwhile, I’m already thinking about the next thing before I’ve even finished the one I’m on. Will I ever feel satisfied? Or will I always want more?

The truth is, I don’t have the answers. I’m still in the thick of it. But I know I’m not alone.

So if you’re an ambitious mum too, whether you’re building a business, going back to school, climbing the career ladder, or just dreaming quietly during nap time , I see you!

And I want to ask:

How are you navigating this season? Do you feel the guilt too? Have you found a way to make peace with your ambition and your role as a mum and partner? Do you ever feel like you’re chasing something that keeps moving?

Please, share your stories in the comments. Send me a message. Let’s stop pretending we’ve got it all figured out and start talking honestly.

Because I truly believe we were made for more and we can carry our dreams and our families. Even if it’s messy. Even if it looks nothing like the Pinterest version of balance. Even if we’re tired but still reaching.

And if no one has told you lately:

You’re doing so well.

You are not selfish for wanting more.

And you are not alone.

With love and solidarity,

Ope xx